Decisions are never easy, especially when they have eternal consequences. Luckily, there are relatively few decisions that need to be made that are that life altering, in and of themselves. Marriage, kids, etc come to mind. I am talking of course about more than just day to day "am I going to Choose the Right" type of decisions. I am talking about ones that involve MONTHS of prayer and fasting and crying and sometimes gnashing of teeth. (literally, I started grinding...it wasn't pretty...and it was a hard habit to break by the way). After months of not even wanting to ask the question, and prayers being offered for the strength to even pray for the answer, Dan and I feel that our family is complete, and we have withdrawn our adoption application. It has been an amazing few years, and we have met the most incredible people, and had some of the most spiritual experiences. We don't know WHY we were so strongly prompted to try to adopt, and we don't know WHY we are now feeling like our family is ready to JUST. BE. US. But we are, and we are thrilled. It has taken a weight off, because we were both feeling it for awhile, but didn't want to admit it, and then were so sad to leave the wonderful world of adoption behind, because it truly is a miraculous place. We have seen lives changed, and are better because of our journey.
It also required me to take a hard look at the fact that I am DONE. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to face. EVER. I am a mom. That is what I do. It was a sad summer, as I came to grips with that, but also a summer of incredible growth individually and as a couple.
We have 4 beautiful, crazy daughters, and I would never trade that for the anything. We are going to enjoy life with them to the fullest.
WE ARE COMPLETE
9 comments:
Kim, I am tearing up as I read your blog! Don't do this to me so early in the day! =) You are an amazing woman and mother and I look to your example. Love ya!
We are just the 4 of us and are happy with that as well. We had to make the decision early on because of my health situation. But I still long to hold any baby that I see. I'm thankful that you feel complete. That's a good feeling. :)
You guys are amazing and I know you will continue to be blessed for your willingness to follow and obey promptings as they come. That takes so much courage. I know what you mean about the sadness of being "done". A couple of years ago I had a major cry as I gave away those last couple of containers full of my most cherished baby stuff. It wasn't the stuff, just the knowledge that that particular phase of my life was gone. I sometimes am sad that I didn't savor it as much as I should have, but I do love this phase of life too! It's fun to have great kids doing fun things and growing into (hopefully) amazing adults.
Isn't the Spirit a wonderful blessing when it comes to things like this? I would sure hate to have to make these decisions on my own sometimes...well, most of the time!! It took us a long time to come to the conclusion that Brett was it for us...one child...really?? It can't be! But after about 7 or 8 years of really hoping, praying, etc, I finally came to the realization that I was missing out on his precious childhood worrying about having another. Without that worry, I feel like I've been able to enjoy Brett that much more! You guys have a WONDERFUL family of beautiful, precious girls and you are sooooo lucky! Enjoy them and be the best mommy you can be! (Which I know you already are!)
And what a great family you are!You, Dan and the girls are just the very best and we love you.Susan brought her beautiful new baby to see me yesterday as I held her it just melted my heart and I said I want a baby,I am sure I always will.
Kim, I am glad that you and Dan were able to even except the plan to try and adopt. Maybe you were suppose to just meet these people and see the blessings through the program. I feel for you on the issue of having to admit that you are done. After our 3rd we were told I really shouldn't have any more. This killed me because I always wanted at least 4 if not more. We talked about adoption, but never felt right about it. Then a few years ago when my baby was 5 we had the prompting to contact a foster agency for children with disabilities. It has been a blessing ever sinces we now have a happy young man who has been a part of our family since 2007. He has taught us a lot about things we take for granted in life. Some days I still feel that I would really love another baby of my own, but then when we start talking about it and praying about it we know we are done and we are to just help other children who wouldn't have the opportunity to know what a family life is really like. Love Ya and your beautiful family.
Kim, yes you are perfect just the 6of you! That is still a handful and i think you find as your youngest gets older, the baby yearning goes away..then it comes back when you want a grandbaby..but as my boys got older the baby thing faded..yours will too...enjoy the girls and make the most of what God gave you..
love you, Auntie!
I think it's hard for any parent to make that "final" decision. We are here to have families, but you need to do what's best for your health. Your decision was made for you when your last one was born. Trust me...you'll get your "baby fix" when the grandbabies come along...You now have opportunities to interact w/children of all types. Once a mom, always a mom. I love you for your diligence with that decision made a few years ago to adopt. I am proud of who you are and you always have my support. Love, Mom
We'll miss you guys! I'm so glad we can still see you via your blog :) You have a beautiful family and we're glad to have met you thru LDSFS.
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